Don’t Eat Ice Packs (and ten other things Darwin doesn’t want me to tell you)

I often smile when I read warning labels. I can't help it. Perhaps I am perverse. I’m really not sure. But in light of some recent events, there are people who could use a smile, and I am nothing if not accommodating. So here is my list of eleven (number 2 counts as two) warnings that Darwin doesn’t want me to tell you. In the comments, feel free to add additional warnings.  And be safe out there!!

  1. Don’t eat ice packs.

  2. Don’t put sunscreen in your eyes to look at the sun. And don’t  look at the sun.

  3. Don’t blow dry your hair during your bath or shower. It really won’t save you time.

  4. Don’t eat toothpaste. Yes, toothpaste and space food both come in tubes. I’m fairly certain the similarities end there.

  5. Don’t eat cleaning products, full stop.

  6. Don’t run with scissors or sharp objects.

  7. Don’t leave an open flame unattended.

  8. Don’t drink hot coffee or sip hot soup until it has cooled enough not to burn your mouth.

  9. Don’t believe everything you read on the internet (or anywhere).

10. For the love of all things Darwin, don’t share this post with someone who actually needs this advice! 

Action is not the same thing as Plot

As someone who teaches writing, I see a lot of things. One recently is that the young people I work with try to add things that happen without those things adding to the plot. The result of this is somewhat comedic -- how much STUFF can a character go through in a day?

Plot should be action. You probably don't want characters who just sit around talking. You want them to get up and kick ass -- at least every once in a while. But that action needs a focus point. While there are things (like weather-related disasters) that happen for no good reason, the plot should center around the question: "What does this character WANT?" and then describe the path and the obstacles to get that character to that place -- or help the character deal with NOT reaching that goal.

Authors CAN beat the crap out of their characters. Life does this, too. Some of the most dramatic stories involve wondering how much more a person can take. But the story is not the events. The story is how the person dealt with the challenges.

A character's drive doesn't have to be flashy, either. Fault in Our Stars and Perks of Being a Wallflower were both incredibly well conceived stories about people not looking to be much more than ordinary. A character does not have to be a superhero to be a hero.

Elementary school students have led me on perfectly ordinary adventures about nighttime rituals involving getting that last drink of water before bed. Middle school students have led me on bizarre quests in search of the perfect golden Ticonderoga. School and home plots have plenty tension and drive without murder and mayhem of the macabre caliber.

So plot with purpose (I'm certain someone has trademarked that, I mean no infringement). Focus on what drives your character to get up in the morning and stumble through the day. Or why your character is so overwhelmed that the bed is a sanctuary. You can do a lot with plot, and actions do drive that plot home. But actions for the sake of filling pages will cause your reader to be confused, put down YOUR book, and reach for something else.

Phyl Campbell is the author of I'm Not Writing a Book Today, the so-called procrastination guide for writers and other dreamers, and a number of other books in various genres (available on Amazon). Books she has published for young authors can be found on her website. They are also available on Amazon under their own authors and titles. Campbell lives and teaches in York County, PA.

Find Your Voice to Fight Discrimination

Last month, two of my young friends were stopped and searched for "shopping while black." And that's not OK. Even worse, the store employee knew my friends' mother, who is a rising star in our community. So how many other people, especially young people, have been trying to enjoy their summers only to be accosted in this way? Maybe not by this employee. Maybe not at this store. But in esteem-damaging, unjust, and just awful ways, all the same.

As a parent, as a teacher, as an adult, as a white person -- I want to fix things. And that isn't always practical. I can't always be where my young friends are. And sometimes adults try to fix things for young people when they should (we should) be helping young people fix problems for themselves. Even if it isn't the way we (adults) would do it.

As a writing coach for young people, I (like to think I) understand that better than most. And after talking to my friends' mom, realized how I thought I could help.

Find Your Voice (to fight discrimination) is a twice-monthly workshop where young people age 12-20 can gather in a safe space and talk and write about their feelings and reactions to discrimination they have experienced. Racial discrimination sparked this, but all forms of discrimination may be addressed by young people who need a safe space to do so. I can never know what it means to be black or brown, but I still experience discrimination as a woman and as a fat person. We have an administration that has come out strongly against anyone with a minority label - color, nationality, gender, orientation. It isn't right, and we need to resist it. I also remember being watched more carefully as a teen -- people didn't trust me because I wasn't an adult. It wasn't right, and it wasn't fair. Now I can help others work to change it.

I'm going to sponsor the group and help in any way I can, but students are going to be in charge and tell me what they need instead of the other way around. If they want to learn how to write OpEds for the paper, I will help them from the writing to figuring out how to submit to an editor. If they want to be on TV or the radio, I will help them navigate that process. If they want to start a literary magazine at their school, I will help them do that. And if all they want is a safe space to talk and write, I will respect that, too.

Find Your Voice will be held the FIRST and FOURTH Thursdays of the month at GUSA by Victoria in downtown York, WECO district (252 W Philadelphia Street), starting August 24th. In addition, FYV members (as well as the general public) are invited to open mic 2nd Thursdays, also at GUSA, emceed by yours truly!

Phyl Campbell is the author of I'm Not Writing a Book Today, the so-called procrastination guide for writers and other dreamers, and a number of other books in various genres (available on Amazon). Books she has published for young authors can be found on her website. They are also available on Amazon under their own authors and titles. Campbell lives and teaches in York County, PA.