So… It happened again.
I offered my opinion on FB, some person who is a friend of my friend disagreed with me, debating my data with their OPINION and asking me for more and better data, on their terms. I bowed out of the conversation, and was called uncivil by the mutual friend.
Hang on a minute. Why was I called out as the uncivil one?
So I sent the OP a PM -- after ignoring the four attacking comments from the male persona I didn’t know, which caused the OP to censure MY behavior. OP had an issue with the term I used - sealioning - because neither OP nor friend of OP knew what it meant. So they took it as a personal attack.
So now I feel the need to post data about what sealioning is. I am being sealioned about sealioning. Terrific.
After I explained via PM that I was literally being sealioned and stated that I called out the attack as my reason not to continue to engage, I told the OP it was inappropriate to ask me to be civil as I was disengaging.
In my defense, the OP posts a new comment to the sealioner saying I thought the discussion had gotten heated and was so I trying to bow out. Really? Talk about a kick in the teeth. If that’s a message in my defense, and not coddling a manbaby, then I really am a legless mermaid.
So why do I keep at it? Because ignorant people are making decisions every day that affect me and people I care about. Privileged people can disengage, and that’s fine (It’s really not fine, but I can’t even deal with that right now, so…). I don’t feel I have that luxury. At the same time, I can’t continue to engage people I don’t know. When they engage me, through mutual friends, I do expect the friends to moderate fairly.
When a woman tries to be civil, and someone accuses her of the opposite, I’m going to have words for that. Especially when the woman being accused of being uncivil is ME. Fuck that shit! (Which, let’s face it, IS uncivil.) The policing of females who back up their points of view is inappropriate. Period. Women who disengage and cite a reason should be supported. Women need to be loud, proud, and supportive of each other. Full stop.
I don’t resort to name-calling. I don’t bash people over the head with my profound intelligence. So if I say something they don’t understand, why not ask me before assuming ill intent?
Because I can call a manbaby a manbaby. I can denounce a 45 supporter with all the gusto that the pig-headed pea-brain deserves. I can overwhelm with links, stats, facts, and so much data to support my intelligence that -- well, it would be a lot. But I was being civil. To my own perceived detriment. I left the conversation and was told I did so uncivilly.
The male persona responded to my comment “I don’t engage with sea lions” by calling me a whale and the OP thought it was tit for tat. Honestly? My eyes could not roll back in my head any farther. Male persona - person I don’t know - made three or four comments that I didn’t intend to read within the five minutes after I made my comment and left. Initially, they commented on my comment to the OP - in other words, I did not initiate engagement with them. If they weren’t trolling me before, how many comments after a disengagement before I get to call the sealion a sealion? Had the OP not tagged ME - and not the other person - and asked ME to be civil, I never would have read the comments where the stranger attacked and baited me. That’s why I’m creating this post.
Even if a post doesn’t seem political, one can bet it probably is. Even if I seem shrill or uncivil, I can promise — I don’t have to play nicely at all. Polite women rarely make history, much less change history, resist oppression, or implode a patriarchy.
But if I’m going to insult a person — not just disengage, but truly insult a person — know that I will make damn sure they know how I’m insulting them. I will do so with little words that they should have learned by about third grade. Then they can take my pedantic words and go fuck themselves to the moon.
Some will say that this post has been created because someone has touched a nerve. They’re right, but not the nerve they’re thinking. I’m writing this post because ignorant people are overwhelming social media platforms as well as manipulating the data available via the internet (usually to skew right of right of center to the point that moderate opinions look left-leaning). People who have taken the time to become well-informed can’t spend all day fighting all of them. Women in particular take more time to educate and remain social, so need to be given more respect in online engagements.
Women being called out for incivility is inappropriate. If someone doesn’t understand a term, they should look it up before embarrassing themselves by displaying such wanton ignorance. Especially among people who label themselves as woke progressives. [eye roll, eye roll]
I want to be done, but I’m not done. There will be more ignorance to battle tomorrow.
Be ye man or woman - or both or neither or fluid - support people who civilly engage so that people like me can take a break every once in a while. Regularly post descriptions of trolls and logical fallacies so that people know when they’re being called an animal and when they’re simply being called out on their behaviors. Support women who disengage from conversations in ways that make them feel confident they left with dignity to fight other battles elsewhere. Moderate the men who think everything must come on their terms. If not capable of these small acts of kindness, please STFD & STFU. (Fair enough? I thought so.)
I offered my opinion on FB, some person who is a friend of my friend disagreed with me, debating my data with their OPINION and asking me for more and better data, on their terms. I bowed out of the conversation, and was called uncivil by the mutual friend.
Hang on a minute. Why was I called out as the uncivil one?
So I sent the OP a PM -- after ignoring the four attacking comments from the male persona I didn’t know, which caused the OP to censure MY behavior. OP had an issue with the term I used - sealioning - because neither OP nor friend of OP knew what it meant. So they took it as a personal attack.
So now I feel the need to post data about what sealioning is. I am being sealioned about sealioning. Terrific.
After I explained via PM that I was literally being sealioned and stated that I called out the attack as my reason not to continue to engage, I told the OP it was inappropriate to ask me to be civil as I was disengaging.
In my defense, the OP posts a new comment to the sealioner saying I thought the discussion had gotten heated and was so I trying to bow out. Really? Talk about a kick in the teeth. If that’s a message in my defense, and not coddling a manbaby, then I really am a legless mermaid.
So why do I keep at it? Because ignorant people are making decisions every day that affect me and people I care about. Privileged people can disengage, and that’s fine (It’s really not fine, but I can’t even deal with that right now, so…). I don’t feel I have that luxury. At the same time, I can’t continue to engage people I don’t know. When they engage me, through mutual friends, I do expect the friends to moderate fairly.
When a woman tries to be civil, and someone accuses her of the opposite, I’m going to have words for that. Especially when the woman being accused of being uncivil is ME. Fuck that shit! (Which, let’s face it, IS uncivil.) The policing of females who back up their points of view is inappropriate. Period. Women who disengage and cite a reason should be supported. Women need to be loud, proud, and supportive of each other. Full stop.
I don’t resort to name-calling. I don’t bash people over the head with my profound intelligence. So if I say something they don’t understand, why not ask me before assuming ill intent?
Because I can call a manbaby a manbaby. I can denounce a 45 supporter with all the gusto that the pig-headed pea-brain deserves. I can overwhelm with links, stats, facts, and so much data to support my intelligence that -- well, it would be a lot. But I was being civil. To my own perceived detriment. I left the conversation and was told I did so uncivilly.
The male persona responded to my comment “I don’t engage with sea lions” by calling me a whale and the OP thought it was tit for tat. Honestly? My eyes could not roll back in my head any farther. Male persona - person I don’t know - made three or four comments that I didn’t intend to read within the five minutes after I made my comment and left. Initially, they commented on my comment to the OP - in other words, I did not initiate engagement with them. If they weren’t trolling me before, how many comments after a disengagement before I get to call the sealion a sealion? Had the OP not tagged ME - and not the other person - and asked ME to be civil, I never would have read the comments where the stranger attacked and baited me. That’s why I’m creating this post.
Even if a post doesn’t seem political, one can bet it probably is. Even if I seem shrill or uncivil, I can promise — I don’t have to play nicely at all. Polite women rarely make history, much less change history, resist oppression, or implode a patriarchy.
But if I’m going to insult a person — not just disengage, but truly insult a person — know that I will make damn sure they know how I’m insulting them. I will do so with little words that they should have learned by about third grade. Then they can take my pedantic words and go fuck themselves to the moon.
Some will say that this post has been created because someone has touched a nerve. They’re right, but not the nerve they’re thinking. I’m writing this post because ignorant people are overwhelming social media platforms as well as manipulating the data available via the internet (usually to skew right of right of center to the point that moderate opinions look left-leaning). People who have taken the time to become well-informed can’t spend all day fighting all of them. Women in particular take more time to educate and remain social, so need to be given more respect in online engagements.
Women being called out for incivility is inappropriate. If someone doesn’t understand a term, they should look it up before embarrassing themselves by displaying such wanton ignorance. Especially among people who label themselves as woke progressives. [eye roll, eye roll]
I want to be done, but I’m not done. There will be more ignorance to battle tomorrow.
Be ye man or woman - or both or neither or fluid - support people who civilly engage so that people like me can take a break every once in a while. Regularly post descriptions of trolls and logical fallacies so that people know when they’re being called an animal and when they’re simply being called out on their behaviors. Support women who disengage from conversations in ways that make them feel confident they left with dignity to fight other battles elsewhere. Moderate the men who think everything must come on their terms. If not capable of these small acts of kindness, please STFD & STFU. (Fair enough? I thought so.)
